For years this has been a date that has brought tears to my eyes. Today is one of those “anniversaries” that I’ve never looked forward to because it’s been nothing to celebrate. I don’t know anyone who looks forward to the day a parent passed away, so it’s not strange that I’m no different. Today, back in 1981, when I was just 5 years old, my mom left this world at the age of 29 — way too soon.
I’ve spent the last year letting go of a lot of things that no longer serve me. Things that I’ve carried around inside even though they only brought me pain; dreading this day has been one of them. I’ll never be thankful she’s wasn’t able to be a big part of my life (that would just be silly), but as I sit here and write this, my little boy is kicking inside me and I think of my own mom and I smile. I smile because I had her for five years and, while that might not be very long, I’m thankful that I had that at all. I smile because she gave me the gift of life (something I’m beginning to understand more with every passing day as my son grows). I smile because she had me with the best dad I could have ever asked for. I smile because she gave me brothers that I adore.
I’m wiping my tears away and I’m smiling. The very wise Dr. Seuss said “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” Indeed, doc, indeed.