A Very Long December

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this latest update.

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So here’s the thing — December is sort of a hard month for me in general (I’m totally going to stop narrating this blog referring to Woz and Russ as if we all didn’t know I’m writing it, okay? Okay. *smile*). Anniversaries of bad news, suicides, lost loved ones. It’s sort of one of those months that I always want to just sleep through. Yet, it always seems to pop up after November anyway. Persistant little thing, that December.

December seems to be the month where I feel like I have so much to say and so very little to say all at the same time. I’ve just learned to roll with it, to be honest.

A few days ago, I walked into our home office and I saw Russ looking at this blog. He was clicking through old posts — looking at pictures, smiling at the different phases of our little Mr. Pickles (is he seriously going to be 2 in just a couple of months?!). And I realized that I don’t come here much anymore. I think about it. I even try to snap a photo or two specifically to post here…but then I just don’t make it back.

It didn’t really take me long to realize why.

This year has sort of been what I would call a very long December.

Don’t get me wrong. This year has created some amazing memories and, overall, the Familia Flint is a very happy one.

I’ve used this space to share our happiest times — lots of smiles, lots of laughter. But this year has had a little bit more than our fair share of sadness and tears.

If you happen to read my other blog, you know by now that I’ve been struggling with managing depression for the majority of this year. In fact, I’ve actually been on a leave of absence from work since January. That’s not the sort of thing that feels like a warm and fuzzy family blog post, ya know?

Dear ol’ depression has affected Russ and me in huge ways, tested our marriage to it’s very core (we keep coming out on top, thankyouverymuch), and we keep on moving forward — together. It’s a continuous work in progress.

Then came the big computer corporation company “work force reduction” of 2012. Work force reduction is the nice way of saying “thanks for playing the game, folks, but goodbye.” And just like that, on a Tuesday in June, Russ came home to let me know that he no longer had a job. Again, not the thing I’d come rushing to the keyboard to press publish on in lightning speed.

Turns out that it’s not as easy as taking a pill to remedy the fact that my brain and emotions go awry to the point that I can’t easily function at a good ol’ 9 to 5. Turns out it’s not as easy as updating your LinkedIn profile and sending out application after application every single day to get a new job. Turns out it’s not always lots of smiles and laughter.

But through it all, we continue to push forward.

Every night when Russ and I go to bed we tell each other our favorite part of the day. It’s not always easy to think of a favorite part — especially when it’s been a particularly difficult day. Yet, we always manage to find at least one good thing. And just this week (as money is beginning to get tighter and tighter) we’ve started to tell each other one thing we were grateful for or appreciated in the day. This helps put things in perspective and many times can provide that smile that may have been M.I.A. just a few minutes earlier.

Yesterday we were grateful for a sunny afternoon in Old Town…

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grateful.

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c’mon. how can we NOT smile when we have this guy?

So yes, it’s been one “very long December” and literally the darkest day of the year is almost upon us. But soon after, the days will become brighter…and I have to believe our days will, too.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “A Very Long December

  1. A. Charron

    I miss you guys, watching you two show so much love for each other. Never let that go, you’re an inspiration. Keep on keeping on and keep your eyes on the sky where all dreams abound šŸ™‚ ..

  2. Mermie

    I love your honesty and big heart.
    Last December and this one has been hard on me.
    When I read your words, I realize we are all in this together.
    You continue to inspire me, I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
    xo

    • Woz

      I’m so sorry that December has been so hard on you, too, Mermie. But, like you said, we aren’t alone in this — we will make it out the other side. A brand new year awaits us. Let’s promise to check in next December, okay? (Well, hopefully much sooner, but let’s promise to meet up and support one another if we need it.)

      And girl, you’ve ALWAYS inspired me. xoxo

  3. Annita Aranda

    I’m sorry that things have been so difficult for you this year. Sometimes I thought I could read between the lines, but was afraid to interject anything. I’ve been there before, the depression and financial burdens one goes through to survive. I pray that you will continue to move forward and I only wish I could take your heart ache away. You are and always have been a beautiful person and I hope someday December will come to bring happy memories as you watch your precious boy grow. Luv u, Annita

    • Woz

      Thank you so much, Annita. Sadly, I think way more people can relate to this post than we’d like. But I guess that does remind us we are in this together, right?

      And our little man definitely brings us joy. Sometimes (pretty much every day) we look at him and can’t believe how lucky we are to be his parents. He’s the very best thing to ever happen to us.

  4. Christina Heasley

    Oh sweetie, we have much in common. I am so glad you have such a wonderful man to help you through this, and that you guys are staying strong. I have been going through a very rough time this year as well. My little guy is the reason I keep going. You are such a great person, whom I admire very much. Stay strong sweetheart, and give that little man a hug from me.
    Much Love ā™„ā™„
    Christina

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